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Worst Job EVER?

Have you been looking for a job, and been appalled by all those employers offering "competitive benefits", "great workplace culture", and heaven forfend, "work-life balance"? Well, you sado-masochist you, we think we've found your perfect employment match!

Dalkey Archive Press is looking for an intern / employee (they're a little hazy on the pay scale -- from the tone of the advert we gather that any earnings would need to be personally extracted from the coal mine / slave labour camp in the parking lot). They specifically request an individual with no "other commitments (personal or professional) that will interfere with their work at the Press (family obligations, writing, involvement with other organizations, degrees to be finished, holidays to be taken, weddings to attend in Rio, etc.)", so Brazilians with large extended families need not apply. The word "sacrifice" also appears prominently, along with a special enjoyment of "a rigorous and challenging probationary period". 

Before you've even been hired, they also want to make very clear your grounds for instant dismissal. Just the usual really -- "being unavailable at night or on the weekends; failing to meet any goals; giving unsolicited advice about how to run things; taking personal phone calls during work hours; gossiping; misusing company property, including surfing the internet while at work". 

Surprisingly, this dream job doesn't require any particular skills, qualifications or experiences -- with the exception of psychic abilities, so you can "know what the publisher wants or needs before he does."

If you would like to see what it's like to work at Dalkey Archive Press, a current intern has set up a Twitter account of their (fake) experiences. The job, fantasy of enslaved bliss that it is, is actually real. 

Good luck with your application! 

Posted by Sarah Laing

2012-12-13, 13:24:40

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