When my wife and I have sex (which isn't often these days), I feel like I'm the only one participating. When I told her what was bothering me, she insisted that it was all in my head. The lack of intimacy and connection between us is starting to make me d

10.

Q: When my wife and I have sex (which isn't often these days), I feel like I'm the only one participating. When I told her what was bothering me, she insisted that it was all in my head. The lack of intimacy and connection between us is starting to make me depressed. How can I save my sex life?

Whether or not it's in your head, if it matters to you, it deserves your wife's attention. You can't force someone to feel something they don't (that is, enthusiasm), but you can encourage her by making sure that she enjoys it as much as possible. Spend as much time as she will allow exploring what gets her going. All that may require is a slight change in your routine. If these problems are truly threatening your sex life, it might be worth seeking out a good therapist--there could be underlying psychological issues behind your wife's behaviour that aren't directly related to sex.

Hailey Dai is a young woman living in a committed relationship. She quite enjoys sex. Click here to send her your questions.

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