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Q: I’ve been sexually active for ten years and with my hubby for five of those years. I’ve never had an orgasm. Any tips?

Hailey says...
The first thing to know is that your man has nothing to do with this; he can be the best of the best at whatever he’s doing but it might not be the best for you. Try to get to orgasm alone. That’s right, begin with masturbation because no one knows what feels right better than you. And once you know, you’ll be better equipped to guide your partner. Find time when you know you won’t be interrupted. Grab some lubricant, a racy book, and a vibrator, if desired, then lie back and get uninhibited. There are different ways to get to the “oooh” point, and you have to be patient—you might not get it on the first couple tries. For detailed instructions, I recommend Georgia Kline-Graber and Benjamin Graber’s [Woman’s Orgasm: A Guide to Sexual Satisfaction (Time Warner Books, 1988) and Betty Dodson’s Sex for One: The Joy of Selfloving (Crown, reissued 1996).

Hailey Dai is a young woman living in a committed relationship. She quite enjoys sex. Click here to send her your questions.