It's the age-old dilemma: girl watches all of her friends get married, while she sits on the sidelines giving her two cents on flower arrangements and font for the invitations. Kristen Wiig (Bridesmaids) and Katherine Heigl (27 Dresses) play them perfectly; the caring-turned-cracked best friends in what has become a blockbuster phenomenon of chick flicks for that growing demographic of sad, unmarried, 'Friends of the Bride'.
Well, here's what I have to say to those 'Always Bridesmaids': get some real problems. Like, say, never having attended a wedding at all. Yes, it's true; at the ripe old age of 22, I have yet to go to a wedding, even as a date -- which really puts these bridesmaids' problems to shame, I think. Where's the new blockbuster hit starring Anne Hathaway as the poor girl that people think unfit to attend a union of love? What does this say about what my own wedding will be like? Will I even get proposed to at this rate?
I have tried to brush this issue under the table, but the looks of incredulity and shocked responses ("Really?! Wow. Don't you have cousins?"; "That sucks, weddings are the best parties I've ever been to"; "Someone will take you to one eventually") are starting to put me on edge. I'm borderline suffering from the same panic over not having been to a wedding that bridesmaids go through because the wedding isn't their own!
I have not yet come across someone my age that has never attended a wedding at all, not even as a child. The one wedding I did manage to get invited to got cancelled, which has led me to believe that I might have some sort of wedding curse on me and any wedding that comes close to my radar is in jeopardy (I'm sure this revelation is bringing me no closer to meriting one, either).
The bizarreness of my situation makes me slightly frantic during wedding season. Should I make new friends? Obviously mine are doing absolutely nothing to help the situation, selfishly attending their brothers' and sisters' weddings without thinking to take me as a pity date. I would love for my biggest problem to be arguing over Bachelorette party locations or having a closet full of hilariously hideous bridesmaid dresses.
In my opinion, these single gal bridesmaids so popularly portrayed through movies like Bridesmaids and 27 Dresses are being a little too harsh on themselves. Relax, ladies - you won't be the bridesmaid forever! For now, just enjoy being a part of someone else's big day, and soak up all the experience you're gaining. Now you know better than to go for those disastrous tasselled tablecloths that Beth had at her reception, which is more than I can say for myself.
You can thank me later‚ maybe with an invite?
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